Sundar Pichai, Google

Another New Year, Another Chance for Growth

I was just looking at last year’s New Year post, and I think 2017 really did live up to my expectations, despite my efforts to go into it with a positive attitude. However, despite everything, I’m not beaten down, and I hope you aren’t either. Every year, in fact every day, is another chance for […]

Depression

Thoughts on Grief and Alexithymia

According to Wikipedia, alexithymia “is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating.” There is also a high co-morbidity rate between alexithymia and autism spectrum disorders. I think this is what […]

Sailor

What an Exhausting Year It’s Been

I didn’t end up doing NaNoWriMo this month as I’d planned. This year has been the most stressful, and I am exhausted. I’ve felt lately like I’ve been succumbing to anxiety and depression again. Then I realized the sheer amount of stuff I’ve dealt with in the past six months, and considering all of that, […]

Two grooms holding hands

Mawwiage is What Bwings Us Togevah Today

I got married on Monday. This is something I never thought I would do. I’ve never been attracted to people like most other people seem to be. I’ve had crushes, but I was always perfectly happy to crush from afar. I was never interested in dating or hooking up. All of that seemed rather unsavory, […]

Concentric circles labelled from the inside to the outside as: Intimacy, Friendship, Participation, and Exchange

A Logical Understanding of Social Circles

I think that I do such a good job of superficial social fakery that people don’t really understand the extent of my disability. I think they assume that they themselves are in an outer level of my social circle but that I have plenty of other people who are on more inner levels. But that […]

Noise Noise Noise Noise (A Couple Recommendations for…

I’ve been a little disappointed in myself for not having anything to say for a month. When I’m in word mode, I can write a lot (and even speak a bit more), but then I slip into non-verbal mode again. I know I shouldn’t be hard on myself for that. I suppose there’s some internalized […]

Drawing Faces with Face Blindness

I have a condition called prosopagnosia, commonly known as face blindness. My case is not so severe that I don’t recognize faces at all, but I am prone to snubbing people because I don’t see them, even if I look right at them. This even happens with my own mother. If I see someone outside […]

You're Killing Me

I am not the friend you are looking…

I have a very hard time being a friend and having friends, even on the internet, which is worlds easier for me than in person. Even if I care for someone immensely, it’s very difficult for me to be proactive in interacting with them. It has nothing to do with shyness or social anxiety. Social […]

Glory Days: Masks and Dissociation

I woke up with the song “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen in my head today. It’s appropriate, because I’ve been spending a lot of time scanning old photos for my family. I think that for a lot of people, old photos trigger nostalgia. Despite whatever bad things may have happened in the past, photos are […]

Desert Landscape

Repetitive Tasks: Pleasure or Anxiety

I’ve heard it said many times that autistic people enjoy repetitive tasks. This is one of the things that caused me to start suspecting that I was on the autism spectrum back before I was diagnosed. That was because I’d been told on several occasions that I had incredible patience or will power when I’d […]