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Thoughts on Grief and Alexithymia

Depression

According to Wikipedia, alexithymia “is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating.” There is also a high co-morbidity rate between alexithymia and autism spectrum disorders. I think this is what…

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What an Exhausting Year It’s Been

I didn’t end up doing NaNoWriMo this month as I’d planned. This year has been the most stressful, and I am exhausted. I’ve felt lately like I’ve been succumbing to anxiety and depression again. Then I realized the sheer amount of stuff I’ve dealt with in the past six months, and considering all of that,…

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Mawwiage is What Bwings Us Togevah Today

Two grooms holding hands

I got married on Monday. This is something I never thought I would do. I’ve never been attracted to people like most other people seem to be. I’ve had crushes, but I was always perfectly happy to crush from afar. I was never interested in dating or hooking up. All of that seemed rather unsavory,…

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Noise Noise Noise Noise (A Couple Recommendations for Sensory Overload)

I’ve been a little disappointed in myself for not having anything to say for a month. When I’m in word mode, I can write a lot (and even speak a bit more), but then I slip into non-verbal mode again. I know I shouldn’t be hard on myself for that. I suppose there’s some internalized…

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I am not the friend you are looking for.

I have a very hard time being a friend and having friends, even on the internet, which is worlds easier for me than in person. Even if I care for someone immensely, it’s very difficult for me to be proactive in interacting with them. It has nothing to do with shyness or social anxiety. Social…

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Glory Days: Masks and Dissociation

I woke up with the song “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen in my head today. It’s appropriate, because I’ve been spending a lot of time scanning old photos for my family. I think that for a lot of people, old photos trigger nostalgia. Despite whatever bad things may have happened in the past, photos are…

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Repetitive Tasks: Pleasure or Anxiety

I’ve heard it said many times that autistic people enjoy repetitive tasks. This is one of the things that caused me to start suspecting that I was on the autism spectrum back before I was diagnosed. That was because I’d been told on several occasions that I had incredible patience or will power when I’d…

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